Dazed and confoosed

I'm tired. And I've been tired for the past week. But I don't want to go to bed right now because I'd be giving up what's progressing to be my last weekend before school lets out. It doesn't really make sense to try and savor the last weekend, but I dunno, I feel as if I should say goodbye to it. As a proper sendoff of sorts, I suppose.

I was sure I wasn't going to update this week, either. I was just going to let this sink back into being a dead journal. But I took a stand. I still don't have a set topic on hand, though. I'm sort of hoping my rambling will get somewhere. If it doesn't, this is bound to be a somewhat pointless entry.

And I've sat here for five minutes, thinking. And I'm not sure. Nothing has happened of major importance recently that anyone would care about. So, I'm just going to end it here.

As an update, I'll tell you there is no update.

Other note: If you're not into LOST, this will be a horrible stream of gibberish to you. Sorry.

LOST: The fifth season finale aired on May 13th. The event (yes, it was an event) started at 8 PM with a recap episode that was surprisingly revealing about a few of the mysteries of the show. For one thing, the reason why some of the passengers of the plane were taken back to 1970 was because they couldn't replicate the original terms of Oceanic 815's (the first plane crash that got them on the island) wreck. And the reason why Locke was brought back to life was because it had given him power to walk when they first crashed, why couldn't it bring him back to life? The reasons probably sound asinine to you, but to me, they are GOLD.

Other note: People can be entirely unreliable and that upsets me. But that's not important, I'm learning to get used to changes if it be for the best or for the worst.

LOST: The buildup to the end, whilst slow, was actually pretty needed. It started incredibly slow, picked up, picked up, picked up, and exploded in a terribly large combustion of awesomeness and anticipation. I won't go through the entire plot point by point, but basically, they wanted to blow up a station that was being built on the island that caused their plane to crash in the future. In this station, there was a computer with a button that had to have a numerical code (4 8 15 16 23 42) input in it so it would release the electromagnetic energy that had been exposed when they first built it. Blowing up the hydrogen bomb that had been on the island, from the army, would take out the station and stop the future from ever happening.

And so, they get the core from the bomb and go. There's some small conflicts, ones I won't outline here, and they do end up blowing up the bomb. The end of the finale is the bomb exploding, the screen going white and the black words 'LOST' appearing on-screen.
Best finale ever. I loved it. My favorite LOST episode without a doubt. That's why I love the show.

Other note: I'm not going to ramble on about it, just thought I'd give a small entry for this week. I want to start writing.

The Beatles are, without a doubt, a very influential band. Even if you don't like them, you have to admit that they are the basic start of what rock and roll is today. You HAVE to admit that they inspired a whole new group of people to create a different type of music. If you don't at least admit it, then you're an ignorant numbskull.

Anyhoo, taking a page from The Beatles, lyrics from 'Eleanor Rigby':

'Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name. Nobody came. Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave, no one was saved.'

And compare it to a rock song that used to be really popular, Apocalyptica's aptly titled 'I don't care':

'If you were dead or still alive, I don't care. I don't care. Just go and leave this all behind, I don't care, (I SWEAR) I don't care.'

Now, sure, both of those lyrics tell a story. But one of those sets of lyrics (and the entire song) is completely generic. If you think the generic song is 'Eleanor Rigby', please LEAVE. You can actually tell that 'Eleanor Rigby' had to have had effort put into it, the words flow smoothly and although they don't rhyme or go together, it all meshes together in the song. With 'I don't care', you could probably literally guess the words as they came. The lyrics are repetitive and bland. The lump sum of songs out there today are like this and that's sad. Music (unless it's classical) isn't just about the beats or the guitar solos or the music in general, it's a part of the music, but it's not the most important part. For me, the lyrics are the best part of a song. If the lyrics to a song are weak, the song in general is weak to me. I  guess it all just depends on what your standard of 'good lyrics' are. But, telling you right now, if you think Fallout Boy have better lyrics then say, Metallica . . . You're just stupid. I don't care what your opinion is if you think that. At that point, you're wrong. Just wrong. RANT OVER.

Anyhoo, jumping off of that subject and into another . . .

Scrubs is over. I guess it is. Zach Braff (J.D.) and John McGinely (Dr. Cox) aren't supposed to be regular cast members if it does return, so for me, it's over. But, the series finale couldn't have been more perfect. I'll admit that it started out slow, but the last half or so really was amazing. The foreplay up to that point was totally worth it. As J.D. walked out of Sacred Heart and was face-to-face with people whom had died or hadn't appeared on the show for a while was amazing. And as he stepped outside and the 'home movie' started to play, that was it. It was over. Major tears. It was beautiful. A possible future for J.D., but not a definite one. The way they handled up to the end was just superb, I applaud the writers, the directors, the producers, the actors, everyone. It was just brilliant.

My all time favorite moment of the finale (series?) was Dr. Cox's words on J.D. The fact that he was a 'damn good person' and a 'great doctor' was a stark contrast to how he usually treated J.D. and it was a nice change to see Cox praise him (even if he didn't know J.D. was standing behind him). The writing with that was just heartwarming and something that probably won't ever be topped.

I guess I'm glad it's over instead of having it drag on and be turned into something it wasn't. Every Scrubs fan should be happy that didn't happen. I sure am going to miss the Janitor, though. And Cox. And J.D. And Hooch . .

He sure is crazy . . .

So, 9 weeks, huh? 9 weeks since I've input something worth a read in this dusty ol' digitalized journal. I guess you can't call me a blogger. But at least I'm making some attempts at making entries that chronicle the events in my oh-so-boring life. In all honesty, I'm just killing time before Scrubs. I want to write, but if I started and got into it, I'd just have to stop to watch Scrubs. So, here it goes:

I have a summer job now. Not sure if that's entirely great or not, but it pays minimum wage. I already have plans for what I'm going to do with the cash. I'm going to buy a ton of CDs, but I'm sure I'll have a bit of money left over after that, not sure how much though. I plan on purchasing the albums from Beck I don't have and picking up the entire discography of the Smashing Pumpkins. I was going to save up for an XBOX 360 or an electric guitar or something, but I figured it'd be better to just get the small things I need, such as the complete series of Friends on DVD. That's something I need.

Also, my main writing project, the one project that's been with me for nearly nine years has started once again. I have three pages written, just a little over one page typed. But the length doesn't really matter to me at this point, I just want to get it written. And I'm almost poistive that I can now. I have a clearer picture of the plot and a better idea of what the goals of the characters are. And even after I do get it written (if I do) I'll still have to edit it extensively. I want to make this story shine, it's my main project. My Untitled Main Project. UMP. But, on a sadder note, I've lost nearly all inspiration, all my vigour for my side projects. Coincidentally, they're both based around the concept of zombies. But whilst I'm writing one alone, the other is a collaboration. But I don't think he's too apt to continue it either, so I guess it'll just drop. I'm not sure about the one I'm writing alone. I might restart it after I've reread it a couple times now, it's not too good.

And before I forget, I had a dream a recent night. I can't remember much, I waited too long to get it out. I have an odd feeling that it was a neat dream, though. The only thing I can recall clearly of the dream is the end. The last thing I saw was the inside of a shed(?) filled with water and even more coincidentally, 'Wattershed' by the Foo Fighters was playing. Four people stood in the darkly-lit shed. One had long black hair and was skinny. Another had a buzzcut and stood in the back of the group. The third person had shaggy blonde hair and was nodding his head in unison with some sort of beat, defintely not the beat of the song. The person in front of the group was jumping around WITH the song and as the last guitar notes sounded in the dream, he banged three times on the wall. And then I woke up. Awesome, right?

Anywho, everything's still the same. Nothing is different. I'm still girlfriendless, I'm still pretty indifferent towards life, and I still like LOST (season finale next week). So, in a way, this entry was unneeded. My status quo is exactly the same as before, I just have a cash flow for the summer. Big deal, right?

Right.

Or maybe I'm just not going into detail over a few (several?!) things in this entry to set myself up to be able to have prompts to write with! I'm nearly positive I'll go into more detail with Scrubs (series finale, onoes?), LOST (season finale, onoes?) and House (season finale, onoes?). And I did mention Friends, that one sitcom I've started to watch recently that NO ONE else seems to like, so that's another. I'm actually a genius that has just set up a treasure trove of entries in this one piece of writing! So, hah!  You'll see me around, right?

Wrong, probably.

So, it's been three weeks since I've last updated the journal. And I can't recall, but I think in my last entry, I vowed for weekly updates. This, this right here, shows how much I care about you personally; you as the viewer, the person who reads this. (Are there any? I don't think so, let's pretend!)

I can't really say much. Not much at all. I'm done with the promises of weekly updates, it never works out that way. I will promise that when I get a subject, I will post it up here. But as of now, right now, I don't have anything. Nothing. No hot button topics, no opinions to vent. So, I'll give you the status quo of my life as of now.

I'm happy. I'm the happiest I've been in a while. I've been noticing people making stupid choices around me, though; my friends. The ones I thought would be smart, but I've absolved to not let that get to me. I also have decided to not get so caught up in every small minor thing, have to be happy. It just doesn't work out when I'm angry at everyone and everything. And plus, being happy is challenger than being upset all the time. I like a challenge.

I've also started to read a lot more. I've recently been using that phony excuse 'I don't have any time', but I do. I can read while I exercise two hours everyday or read for an hour before bed if it's not too late. I have to start to read again, it's a great outlet for stress or when I'm bored. It's one of my favorite past-time activites and up until three days ago, I sort of just quit. I had been reading on and off, but never really consistently. That will change! Unless I have a fear of change, I might.

Also, I'm going to start doing these painful crunches again. I want to get rid of my somewhat large abdomen. I feel as if I put this down, I will do it. It's really difficult. In this case, I don't like challenges.

But I'll try. I will try.





 

I really have been lonely for the past few weeks, not the type of lonely that you would associate with not being around anyone, but the lonliness you get when you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't know why I'm complaining about it, I don't know what it's like. I'm only going by what I think it is. Perhaps I should start to see it as a waste of time and how it would lead to eventual heartbreak or unhappiness. In that aspect, it would turn me off to the whole idea and I wouldn't worry about it so much. I can't worry about it . . For many reasons . . . That aren't exactly important.

As you can probably tell, that's not the best subject to talk about for me. I don't even know why I brung it up. Why don't I just erase it and start fresh? Well, that's because it's there and it makes sense. And it takes up space. You gotta love the lengthy entry, you have to!

Anyways, that lonliness has given me time to game. And I can honestly say that the song on Rock Band, 'Flirtin' with disaster' can die. It could fall off a cliff, hit some blunt stones, fall off another cliff, hit a TNT factory, blow up, get tossed in the air, hit the ground, and have an elephant crap on it and I wouldn't care. That's how much I hate it. It's the solo. That damn solo. I've gotten past it once, but I screwed up on the hammer-ons after it and failed. That moment was horrible, I was so angry. I couldn't smash the controller, though. They were like fifty bucks. I didn't have the money to replace it . . I instead settled on the disappointed head bow.

Also, LOST is back on. The season premire was amazing, the episode last week was really subpar. I can't really explain it unless you've seen the show and keep up with it, but nothing happened. At all. Thinking about the episode, I guess it threw some light on the island's history and left us with the cliffhanger of what the hell was happening to Charlotte, but that was about it. It also showed up Widmore was on the island when he was younger as well. BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT.

Other random stuff, I can honestly say that I sort of like my time at school better than I like my time at home. For reasons I'd rather not disclose here. It's not entirely important, I guess. Just a tidbit there . . Also, I have writer's block which is a bummer. I've also been pretty lonely . .

Wait, I've already said that one . . .

This entry is done.

So, no activity for nine weeks. That's a bit excessive. Maybe. I mean, updating my journal with a new entry has been in the back of my head for a while now . . For the past nine weeks actually.

Anyways, I went to get my hair cut today. Because it was long and stuff. I even had a five dollar haircut coupon. It was great. And so I go in. And I get my hair cut, but the lady that does it was really nice. It was different, she actually struck up small talk and did her job well. This is probably the best short haircut I've had in a while. I really like it.

Her name . . was Britany . . Or Britney . . Or . . . Brittany.

Anyways, that's it. This is basically just me reassuring everyone that I'll be going back to weekly updates and junk. And that . .

IS THAT!

 

Short entry. I don't want to bother with a long entry this week, don't really feel up to it.

Music is great. Life without music would have a bigger void than it already does now. Music is universial, everyone can gather the mood of a song by just how the instruments are played. Music is understood by everyone until lyrics gets thrown in.

Now, me, I have to understand the lyrics if there are any. I can't listen to Japanese rock or that Rammenstein guy. I have to know the message the words are trying to convey. The lyrics are usually what I pay the most attention to. It's what I can relate to the most. And when lyrics do click with me, I love that song.

Take a look at Everlong by the Foo Fighters, a song about true commitment. I love that song. Take a look at El Scorcho by Weezer, a song about a boy and girl that both probably like each other but are too shy to make the first move. The meaning of the song is what matters most to me.

But, hey, that's just me. Some people listen for those wicked crazy solos or just for the sound in general. I think they're missing out on the other half of music. I mean, really.

But, before I part, I have to quote a song from Radiohead. The song is 'Up on the Ladder'.

'Give me an answer. Give me a sign. I've been climbing up this ladder, I've been wasting my time.'

That could be applied to one of many situations. But if it can apply, it really is nice. To know that someone can actually think of the stuff you're going through. Even if it is cliched and normal. It's still nice.

Holy crap, controversial issues?! NO WAY!

Huh, yeah. With all that crap going on over proposistion eight in California, I just can't help but not have an opinion on it. I don't care if 'God' does frown upon being homosexual, homosexuals should have rights. They should be able to get married just like heterosexual couples do. They have a right to love just like everyone else. It's stunning how we can't get past small differences and see who people are as an individuals and just get along. Why can we decided if it's alright for homosexuals to get married? Can they decide if it's alright for heterosexuals to get married? No, they can't. I thought this was America, LAND OF THE FREE. With this issue, I don't see that it is. Homosexuals should have every right to get married. We can't decide that, and Hell, I don't think God should be able to decide it either.

And this whole 'deciding something for someone else' thing ties into the abortion issue. I mean, I don't support using abortions, but that's me. I've never been put in a situation where one had to be used, so I personally can't say if it should be banned. But other people, I dunno, rape victims might see it as an option. I think adoption might be a better choice, though. Again, it's just not in my general reign to decided what happens. I can actually see what the opposistion to this one is saying, but it's not your baby . . It's theirs. After all, this is America. LAND OF THE FREE.

And hoo-boy, here comes a hum-dinger! I wish people would stop shoving God down other people's throats. I mean, sure, you can say you're a Christian or a Catholic or a Muslim (Alright, the last might not be the best choice) and I'd be cool with that. But when you say that you have to believe in God to live a fruitful life, I take offense to that. I don't believe there's any God and I haven't stooped to using cocaine or something stupid like that. Here's my reasoning as to why there's no God and whilst it might sound a bit stupid to you, it's my views. I just think in the modern world, with all the death and hate and greed and intolerance, there can't be a God. If there was a God, why isn't everything Utopian? Why don't we get along? Why don't we all love each other? And you might say, 'Well, if it was perfect, you wouldn't have any reason to put faith in God', but I think that doesn't make sense. And you might not think that I make any sense. That's alright with me. We don't have to see eye-to-eye here. We have to understand we have differences and live with them. I don't even think that's possible anymore.

I just don't know. When you base your hate from God, (such as the gay rights issue; God only sees a man and a woman couple as being right) there's something up with that.

Alright, so the presidential race is finally over. After an agonizing twenty months or so, it's over. And history was made. I suppose I can truthfully say that if I could've voted, I would've voted Obama. I looked up his stance on some of the issues and it's pretty much what I believed in as well. Also, I'd like to say that skin color had no effect on me this election. I didn't like him because he was black and I didn't dislike him because he was black. I think it's pathetic when you judge someone from the color of their skin. You need to know what they stand for and believe in. Sadly, there are many people who are racist and will be racist until the day they die. I suppose it isn't their fault, though. Racism is taught, it isn't given. If a parent teaches their kid that being different is wrong, the kid has no choice but to belive it. I guess that they could overcome that mindset if they wanted to, but they don't want to. Which is sad.

And also, if everyone thinks Obama is going to waltz in and save us all, they are wrong. One man cannot fix eight years of screwups. It's just not possible. And I don't blame Obama for that. I don't know how he will do, but I want to see. I think he has a lot of potential to be a great president if he stays true to his ideals and viewpoints. I feel sorry for him, though. He's been thrown into a chaotic mess and everyone wants him to fix it. And when he isn't able to, people will get angry. We just expect too much of people sometimes. And whilst we should have expectations, we shouldn't expect one man to save the nation. I don't care what anyone says, it's just not right.

Anyways, onto the lighter topic. There was a container of pancake batter in my fridge. I was craving something sweet and I mistook it for some sort of sugary vanilla concotion. Now, the batter wasn't full to the top, if it had been, I probably just would've poked a finger in for a taste. It was at the bottom, only about one-fourth of the way full. So, I swigged some. I got the container and took a small sip of it. I soon found out it wasn't vanilla. I wanted to spit it out, but that would attract all sorts of attention to myself, so I put the container back and swallowed the batter.

Truthfully, the taste of it wasn't that bad . . A modgepodge of thickness, coldness, and saltiness. It was odd. But, needless to say, all was well in the end.

And that, hopefully, is all that matters.

Eh, college . . .

If that's not enough to know what the serious subject is, you're pretty slow. Maybe three weeks ago, my english teacher gave the entire class a college survey. Some took it seriously, others didn't. I completed it and turned it in, thinking nothing else of it.

Today, I log onto the computer and I get an e-mail. It's about the college survey I took. It directed me to a website and I got an account and filled in the information and such. I can check out the majors/degrees a college holds and it's pretty nifty. I've found a few colleges matched to me with a creative writing course. I think that's what I would do.

Or would it be smarter to choose another career to go into and have something to fall back on if the writing thing never takes off, because that's always a big possiblity. It would be smarter to get a fallback job so I'm not at a loss when I'm out on my own.

I dunno, though. It's just put a lot of thought in my head about the future. It's sort of unsettling to think that in less than three years, I'll be eighteen. I don't know what I want to do with myself or how I'm going to do this. I have to get serious. No one is going to be there to support me when I'm out on my own . .

And see, the lonely weekend thing ties in with the serious subject. When I'm alone, my mind usually whirs into overdrive as to keep me entertained. And with that e-mail and everyone already having something to do with their Saturday, my mind is spinning.

I dunno, perhaps it's best I put some thought into this. As I said, it's really close and it's some serious stuff.

And that's about it . . Just a few thoughts.

ALSO, I'll be trying to update every week now. I got this one in before the start of the week tomorrow, so I have to update for next week still.
 

So!

Two weeks since the last entry? How's that for commitment, right?! I suppose I could go on the fact I never said this would have DAILY UPDATES or BI-WEEKLY CONTRIBUTIONS, but still, I gotta have SOMETHING to say, right? So, lemme think . . .

Well . . I've been sick recently. Nothing too serious. Just a sore throat and a drippy nose. I could totally hang with the sore throat, but when snot just drained from my nose like a faucet, there was a problem. But, still, I'm sort of proud of myself. I didn't miss school. Partly because I didn't want to make up an insane amount of Geometry class/home work and partly because I knew I could suck it up and be productive and crap. It wasn't fun, though. I felt really bad near the end of the day Friday. But I made it through. And here I am, Saturday night (Wow, I felt that bad YESTERDAY?!), fine as a Foo Fighter's CD. (Especially after that LONG BREAK FROM MUSIC.)

Anyways, I've been noticing. Being uncool is the new cool. Well, I'm not digging that. I'm not digging the fact that all these little teenagers are stealing my thunder. The thunder I've had for years. The thunder I've had even when it was uncool. It sickens me to think that I'm part of a new movement. But if I change myself to not be part of this filth, will I still be me? Will I still be true to my ideals? I don't know. I just know that I dislike the fact that my image is being ruined. Everyone nowadays is low-maintenance with their long hair and ripped jeans and all their et cetera! Being unmainstream is the new mainstream!

And to that, I say that I've proudly been with this movement longer than the posers have been! I've been with it since I realized it was me and not since I realized everyone else was doing it! So, hah! 

Take that and shove it where the sun don't shine!

Before anything, a warning: This is an entirely Foo-driven entry. Take that statement in heed. Take it and run! GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

. . .

It's too late . .

Now, I think I'll start off with, well, the start. I don't remember the exact day or month but I do remember where I was. I had been getting ready for school, brushing my teeth. And every morning I would turn the televison to VH1 so I could have something to listen to as I prepared myself for the day. I suppose I just thought of it as noise. Something to fill my ears so everything didn't seem so silent. But once I heard the opening vocals to 'Best Of You', I knew it wasn't just noise. And as the guitar started, I knew it was something more than everything else out there today. And as the drums started to drum, I knew it was my calling.

Alright, so that sounds sort of dramatic. I didn't really fall in love with them at that moment. I just knew they were something else. I knew they weren't like all the others. So, I hurried to finish my teeth brushing and I went out to watch the rest of the video. My intital notes:

-The leader singer looked kind of mexican.

-The video was weird.

-The music was great.

I was almost hypontized by the video. And if you've seen it, you'll know what I mean. The video almost doesn't fit, it almost doesn't make sense. But the more and more you see it (I had to have watched it at least ten times before they took it off air) the more and more you see it fitting with the song. And that's sort of odd. But in a good way. But, with that video, I basically thought the Foos had talent, that they had skill. I didn't think of them as I do now. I couldn't have even guessed I'd think of them as I do now.

But still, even though I didn't think they were gods, I still got enough money to buy their 'In Your Honor' album. It was a two-disc, the first side more rockier than the second. Fun fact about me here, I basically hated the second disc of this album for the first . . two years I got it. I disliked the fact that it was slower and quieter, I wanted RAWK MUSIK! I wanted something with meaning and compassion. Haha, well, lemme tell you, the second disc of that album DOES have compassion. I just couldn't see that because it wasn't wrapped in strong guitar riffs. I was stupid back then.

Anyways, I loved the first disc of the album. 'In Your Honor' (the song, not the album) was moving and sweet. 'No Way Back' was something I could rock out to that had a personal meaning. 'Best Of You' was simply amazing. 'DOA' was (and still is) my favorite track from the first disc. 'Hell', although short, was sweet. 'The Last Song' thankfully wasn't the last song. 'Free Me' was a great song with a great meaning. 'Resolve' was my second favorite from that disc and I still love it today. 'The Deepest Blues Are Black' was a song with a personal meaning to me and 'End Over End' was a freakin' amazing track.

I remember rocking out to that disc everywhere after I got it. Doing homework, surfing the web, drawing. That's how much I loved it. It was safe to say that I pretty much loved the Foos by this time. Safe to say I knew they were something amazing.

But, sadly, I didn't get anymore of their albums for a couple years. But, one of my buddies kept on telling me to get their second album 'The Colour and The Shape'. He told me it was great. It was their best album yet. I was skeptical. 'In Your Honor' was pretty amazing, how could something trump that? Well, when I finally scraped up the money to buy that album, I knew that 'The Colour and The Shape' was better than 'In Your Honor'. It's hard not to admit that. The first seven tracks of that album were absoultley amazing. The next three were still yet amazing. The next (EVERLONG) was something beautiful. The next two were polar opposites. One was slow and one was rocky. But still, they were amazing.

I even got a bonus, since I got the anniversary edition of the album, I got six bonus tracks that were originally unreleased. Although five were covers of other songs, they were still great. And the sixth bonus track was something different from what I knew of the Foos. It was metal. Screamy vocals. Crazy guitars. Something radically different. I loved it. I loved that side of the Foo. The crazy, thrashy side.

But, anyways, if not for the slow tracks of 'The Colour and The Shape', the second disc to 'In Your Honor' still would be hated. Since I enjoyed 'The Colour and The Shape's slow tracks, I decided to give the second disc another chance. And this time, I saw it for what it was. Truly moving. Amazing. Although the tracks were quiet, they still held meaning. How could I have not have seen that earlier? How could I've been so stupid? I pushed those questions aside, happy that I had finally realized 'In Your Honor's full potential. I had seen the light!

But alas, another album hiatus. I wanted their previous albums so badly, but I was short of money. And then I heard word of the Foo's new album, 'Echoes, Silence, Patience, and Grace'. I knew I could scrape up the meager fifteen bucks by the time it came out. It just just one album. Not four albums. Anyways, I was excited for this one. It was my first album I had to wait for and it was being produced by the same guy (Gil Norton) who made 'The Colour and The Shape'. I was pumped for this album. Another 'The Colour and The Shape'? Sign me up!

Now, the kicker here is that it took me longer to actually buy the album than it did to actually get the money. But, my sister needed to go to Super Walmart one day. I took the chance and went with her knowing it'd be the only chance I'd get in a while. With no words towards her, I departed from her and hurried to the music section of the store. And there it was. The album. What I had been waiting for. I grabbed a copy and found my sister. I told her where I had been. We continued through the store, continuing her errands. They seemed to take forever.

But, when the errands were done and I got home, I had little time to hear the album. I heard the first five tracks and then I had to get to bed because of school. My impression of the first five tracks was that the newest album was indeed rather kickass. In their own ways, they had been completely rocking. I loved that. I was not excited for school that next day. I wanted it to be over so I could listen to the rest of the album. Needless to say, the day dragged on. And on. And on.

Then, it was over! I was going home! As soon as I entered my house, I ran to get the album and hurried upstairs so I could begin my exercise routine so I could listen to the album. I don't want to say I was disappointed when I heard the rest of the CD, but I sort of was. I had been expecting the rest of the album to be as rocky as the five tracks I had heard. But, it wasn't. It progressively got slower. And slower. Which was weird for me.

It actually took me a few months to get over the lack of rock and see the whole album as a whole. But with every listen, I dug it more. The tracks really mellowed themselves out as they went on. They smoothly stepped down a level. It all flowed nicely. I loved it.

And so, more time went on. No more Foo albums. More time. More. More.

AND THEN!

SUMMER JOB! SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR! ALL THE FOO ALBUMS!

I don't care if the job was dull and stupid, it gave me the money that allowed me to complete my collection of the Foo's studio records. To shorten it considerably, here are my reactions to the last three albums I ordered from the offical Foo Fighters site:

One by One = Rocking. Completely rocking. Great stuff on that album. I guess Dave personally doesn't like it, though. I think it's alright, though.

There Is Nothing Left To Lose = Laidback. Completely laidback. Had a lot of alternative-rock sounding tracks. Really nice. It's probably so laidback because they didn't have a deadline for this album. They were unsigned.

Foo Fighters (Self-titled debut) = Almost like a Nirvana album. It had it's fair share of nonsensical tracks, but still it was awesome. Really rocking. Also, Dave basically recorded this entire album by himself except for the exception of . . I believe his name was Greg Duhlli of the Afghan Whigs. (I dunno if those're spelled right) Greg played a guitar on the track 'X-static'.

And the rest . . I guess . . That's . . well, . . . History.

. . .

. . Oh, and also, I ordered a wristband with the three CDs. The wristband is awesome. Just sayin'.

So, in a moment of rareness, I'm going to say what I'm feeling. Crazy, right? Anyways, I've had a thought develop itself in my head over the past few days. I don't know what brought it about. But, I do know it's true. But, I do know that I'm stuck on where to go with it.

I realized that if I want to see change in this macarbe world of death and destruction, I'll have to be the one to bring it. Somehow, I would have to contribute enough to the world somehow to make it better. But, in today's times, that's almost impossible. Even if I could contribute, it would only be a meager-sized attempt and 'meager-sized' just won't cut it today. Not in a world of war and hate.

But still, there are a couple problems along with me wanting to contribute to change. One is that if I did give a token of change to the world, would it be strong enough? Would it hold long enough to take any effect? Or would it just crumble under all the stress of the world and be forgotten? That is the small problem.

The large problem is the fact that not one person can change the world. It takes a group of devoted people. But, are there any devoted teenagers left in the world anymore? Or do we all want to sit around the house and watch MTV and text our friends while the world spins out of control even though we're going to be the one at the helm when it's ready to crash? But, of course, are we going to care when we're at the helm? If we're getting wrapped up in gangs and drugs when we're young, will we be responsible as adults? We all need to unite and realize we're the answer to the problem. We all need to realize if we don't fix it, no one will. We need to realize we can change the world. Not as individuals, but as a group.

Now, see, I've gone off on a tangent. I'm rambling. But I think I'm fine with what I have now. Because I'm sure you're all able to see what I mean.

And if you don't understand it, you don't need to.

I was never actually really one for journaling . . . I always tried it when I was younger. I'd get a new notebook with crisp pages and get any pencil I could find lying around my house. I'd love it for the first few days. I'd love writing about my day or the thoughts on my mind. I found the fact that journals were supposed to be only for you and that no one else could read them also so very appealing. I loved all the aspects of journaling . .

Love is a strong word, though. Around the fifth day, I wouldn't bother with another entry. I'd just forget about it or wouldn't have anything else to say. I'd just give up on it. And all those crisp white pages would be left blank with no story to tell. Now, thinking on it, being a page with no use would be a very bad fate. I'm sure a lot of notebooks with only a meager amount of pages filled sat idle about my house, waiting for another chance to have stories to tell.

I usually was never actually the one to take the time and give the books a story to tell. Someone else would come along and be a hero to the orphan notebook and use all of it's pages. I didn't really care, though. When I actually stopped journaling, I felt as if I had nothing worth noting. I thought if someone had found my journal, they wouldn't consider it worth reading. And it wasn't worth reading. I was only a young boy with no cares in the world. Does that make for good reading? No.

So, for a brief stint in years, I gave up on journaling completely. I turned to writing and drawing to express my feelings. And that worked. And I'm still happy with that. But why not have another outlet? Some things cannot be put into pictures or told in stories to be completely understood. Now, I'm not going to say that this is what that is going to be for. In my opinion, journaling would be easier than doing a polictical cartoon on the system America runs on. I can organize my thoughts in my head (during school) and have them all ready to be written down by the time I log onto the computer. I just think that'll be easier for me than it would be drawing or writing in class. Teacher's aren't too keen on that nowadays.

Anyways, onto the meat of the entry. I dunno what you should expect from me. At all. I'm not sure. I dunno if I'll be regular on updating. I dunno if I'll want to keep doing it. I just dunno . .

I can say one thing for sure now, though:

My life on this earth does have it's events worth noting and my mind does have it's thoughts that deserve to be known. So, please, just sit back and enjoy the ride. That's what I plan on doing.